By Divyanshu Wadhwa
An Indian wedding is three or four events over two or three days, and every man in the family is in the photographs of each one. The questions we get on WhatsApp are nearly always the same: what do I wear, how is it different from what the groom wears, and will it be too much or too little. This is the answer we give, role by role and event by event.
The groom
The wedding day belongs to the sherwani. It is the long coat, buttoned to the neck, that falls to the knee over straight pants, and nothing else in a man's wardrobe photographs like it. Ivory, cream, beige and gold are the classic groom's colours because they stand out beside a red or deep-coloured lehenga; mint, pista and peach work when the bride is in pastels. The groom's sherwani is the most worked piece of the whole wedding, embroidered by hand from collar to hem, and it should be. Every other man in the party dresses one step quieter than him.
For the reception, most grooms change into an indo-western set: a shorter jacket or a bandhgala with pants, lighter to move in and easier to dance in. For the sangeet and mehndi, an embroidered kurta set in a strong colour.
Our pieces for the groom: sherwanis, the wedding edit.
The groom's father and brothers
The father of the groom wears a sherwani or a bandhgala in a deeper, calmer colour than the groom: beige where the groom is ivory, charcoal, navy or maroon where the groom is light. Less embroidery, finer cloth. The brother of the groom is the one man who can come close to the groom's level of work, and often wears a sherwani in a colour that frames the groom's rather than matches it.
The bandhgala, the closed-collar jacket also called a jodhpuri, is the father's safest choice. It suits every age, it reads as formal from any distance, and it can be worn again at the next wedding.
The groomsmen
Coordinated, not identical. The common approach is one colour family for the whole group, one step away from the groom's: sage or pista jackets if the groom is in ivory, ivory kurta sets if the groom is in a colour. Indo-western jackets work best here because they look sharp in a group photograph and do not compete with the sherwani.
The guests
For a wedding guest, the rule is simple: dress for the event, not for the groom.
- Mehndi and haldi (daytime, often outdoors): a kurta set in a light colour, cotton or a light blend. Yellow, white and pastels are traditional for haldi.
- Sangeet (evening, dancing): an indo-western jacket or an embroidered kurta set in a stronger colour. This is the event where a guest can be bold.
- Wedding ceremony: a bandhgala or a kurta set with a jacket. A guest does not wear a full groom's sherwani in ivory; a sherwani in a darker colour, with less work, is fine and common.
- Reception: a bandhgala, a dinner-jacket-style indo-western, or a dark suit if the invitation says so.
Our pieces for guests: indo-westerns, kurta sets, reception, celebrations.
The names, if you are new to them
- Sherwani: long coat to the knee, closed to the neck, worn over pants and usually a kurta. The groom's garment.
- Bandhgala or jodhpuri: a closed-collar jacket to the hip, worn with pants. Formal, for every age.
- Indo-western: a jacket or set that takes the Indian collar and embroidery and cuts it shorter and closer, Western in fit.
- Kurta set: a long shirt to the knee with matching pants, the everyday and festive staple, embroidered for weddings.
Fit, for everyone
Whatever the role, the same two things decide how you look in the photographs: the shoulders and the length. Indian wedding wear is cut close through the chest and shoulders and leaves room under the arm so you can lift a glass, hug and dance. If you are between sizes, go up; a good tailor can take a piece in but rarely let it out. Every piece on this site comes in chest sizes 32 to 50 or made to your measure; the size guide shows how to take the numbers.
Timing, from abroad
From the USA, the UK or Canada, allow five to six weeks: eight to ten days to make, seven to ten days to arrive, and a week in hand. Order the groom first, then the family, then the guests who ask. If a date is close, write it in the box on the product page and we tell you at once whether it can be done.
Divyanshu Wadhwa is one of the founders behind Sei Berach.
Read next: Sherwani vs indo-western: which one for which event, How to choose a sherwani for your wedding and How to measure yourself for a made-to-measure sherwani.